Hello, thanks for coming back to read. I want to be the first to tell you: In life, doing good isn't always easy, but it is ALWAYS worth it. Today was my first day back at Loaves and Fishes in almost two weeks, just due to work. As I parked and looked out to the line of people, something in me felt different.
See, the thing is, I didn't really want to go serve today. I wanted to stay home and finish the 97 other things on my to-do list. However, I had this feeling of guilt lingering in me, and I could hear God telling me "Go do this for me, and you will still get everything you need done. Trust in me." Begrudgingly, I thought, "Ughhh God, the beginning of the year is so stressful for teachers, and I really need to get things done, but I guess I'll go." So I went, heart-in-the-wrong-place and all.
I got there with my usual bag of lollipops to share something sweet with my friends. Instantly, I was greeted by hellos, high fives, hugs and "I'm happy to see you's". I was happy to be there, but my heart still wasn't in the right place. As I handed out candy, surrounded by mostly happy and thankful people, all I could focus on was the guy who just took two lollipops and didn't say thank you. "Seriously, what a jerk." I thought to myself.
As I walked through the door and got ready to serve, I stopped by to visit one of my favorites there, however, today just happened to be the day he wasn't in the mood to visit. WOW. I thought. I literally came here for nothing. At this point, I was really irritated. I felt like there were so many other places I could be. Right about that time, an older gentleman who I usually visit with came up to me. "Man I'm so glad you're back." he said as he laughed, "We some bad dudes and some sinners but you always be reminding us God watching over us." I started to smile. Somehow, like God always seems to do, he gave me a perfect teaching moment and a reminder of why I continue to go and serve.
The word sinners stuck out to me. I'm a sinner just like them, heck, we all are. Yet somehow, God calls us to serve others in a capacity far beyond what we will ever be able to understand. US!! ME and YOU!! Sinners, who are no better than the next guy, are asked to be like Christ to others. That's pretty amazing if you ask me.
Anyways, that one conversation changed my outlook on the rest of my visit. Instead, I thought of it as a privilege to be there. I reminded myself that I wasn't doing it for me, I was doing it for God. I was there to remind these people of the great mercy and beauty of God, and on the flip side, he used them to allow me to see his love.
I guess the point of today's story is to remind YOU. We're not perfect. We don't always have good intentions. Just because you see this blog and these pictures doesn't make me or you or anyone any more or any less of a Christian. In fact, I'm not afraid to admit, I MESS UP... A LOT. But folks, we have a merciful God!!! In the times you feel doubtful, or feel like you don't have the time, go and do whatever God is pushing you to do. He will always provide! In the times you feel angry at the world, or at some, show them love! Trust in God to push you through it. In the times you feel lost, and like you have nowhere to turn, like God isn't listening, TURN TO HIM. See, it's in the times we don't want him, or "don't need him", that we actually need him most. Who knows, maybe that will be the time he will reveal his great mercy to you. Maybe that will be the time you feel his comfort. Maybe that will be the time he allows YOU to be like him to others. Maybe that will be the time you see angels among us.
Here are some pictures from today just to remind you and to remind me of the joy an hours worth of time, and some basic necessities brings to these people :)
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